Travelling Business Man to San Diego.

My first international business trip with Marcus Evans is coming to a close.

Leaving Australia last Friday, the 25th November for 9 days in San Diego was a pretty good opportunity. Party, sight see, do some Christmas shopping, get hounded by American girls wanting to hear the beautiful accent that I possess and of course it was also a good opportunity to work in the San Diego office. Lad.

Steve Brenneck

One negative thing about working on the west coast in America is that work starts at 7am. Absolute ball ache. That means getting up at 6am every day. Please note: I decided to stay in a hostel - not a hotel! Why was I staying in a hostel do I hear you ask? Well, purely because a hotel is where the standard businessmen stay, and the only thing to make them happy is a blonde girl wearing hot pants for $250 a hour. That is not me, no, I am different. I prefer to be sociable and share a hostel dorm room with people my age, with similar interests...

One slight problem. I wasn't sharing a dorm with someone my age. In fact, I was sharing with a 71 year old gent called Steve Brenneck. Words that can describe him: Spontaneous, Poor, Stress Free, 5ft 6, Fit, Inquisitive, Confident, Homeless, but most of all, Steve is a happy bloke. I don't think I have met a nicer person in my life without a care in the world. Not only does he live off his social security of $250 a week, and has no family left in the world at all, he lives a life of spontaneity and runs 4 miles every single day no matter rain or shine. He hasn't got a care in the world and hops from city to city staying in hostels. Las Vegas to San Diego, Sacramento to Chicago, New York to Seattle etc etc. One thing he told me he loves to do is go out with young people to pubs and bars and do things that young people do. One of my shopping trips to Urban Outfitters - Steve came along with me as he had never heard of the store - bought him a warm Christmas Jumper didn't I as he mentioned he didn't have a jumper and said he was heading up north where it was going to be cold! Besides having no money and no family - he is a happy man and taught me a few things. Oh yeah, one thing I forgot to mention - he is a USA 10,000m runner too, and is tenth in the world. Champion. Steve is certainly someone I did not expect to meet on this trip.

I've been lucky to meet some pretty cool people so far over here. One of the girls in the office here in San Diego, Melissa Gutierez, has acted as my personal taxi for the week, picking me up from work & dropping me home. Melissa has also shown me the sights, taken me for drinks with her friends and ultimately been a good host. Yeaaaah Buddy. In the office, it is a different atmosphere compared to the Sydney office, im not gonna lie. Sydney is the shit!!! I have learnt a fair amount over here, and it has been a pretty damn good experience. One thing that doesn't work for me is that Skype, Youtube and Facebook is all easily accesible on the work computers - talk about procrastination.

In the meantime, I am literally finishing my week here in the San Diego office. I have had a successful week, made one deal, made a couple of San Diego friends - and eaten some arse tingling spicy mexican food. Tonight I am off to a Christmas Light show - then I fly to London.

Working Lad...

Weird Mark and his Australian Conquests

James Smith is otherwise known as Mark, Weird Mark, Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Smith Balls or Smithy...

I shall refer to him as James throughout this post.

James Smith

James is a member of my team here at Marcus Evans, and a fellow UWIC Graduate. James is English, however speaks with a shit Welsh accent. His tan is as existent as a Jew's foreskin, he plays rugby but can't catch, and is 25 years of age. Hobbies include the gym, reading and facebook. He has slept with 18 girls in his life.

Women don't often play a fundamental part in his life - but when they do... cor blimey! One of James' earlier conquests in Australia was a Mexican girl, 18 years old, 5ft 11 with glasses. Scott Pargeter (the mentor) rated her a steady 3/10... Previous to the her, there was a 17 year old Aussie babe who was out on her High School Prom. James described her as a beauty - but from King Parge has told me she wasn't. I found out she had a lisp, braces and what some may call - greasy hair. All of that however was complimented by a shape even James would be proud of. 4/10.

Smith Balls

Unfortunately for James, he hasn't had the best of luck. Not only does he refuse a free beer, a free lap dance, a free fucking wank in a massage parlour... He also refuses to speak to women on nights out unless he is forced to. Instead, James prefers to stay at home and plays Chess on the computer. I must sound like a bit of a dick writing this, but James needs some exposure. He is a really really nice bloke, extremely friendly, just sometimes he has the social skills of a Ferret - and we need to revive him - and create a new breed of chopping machine!

An accomplice of James', and someone else who is mentored by King Parge, is Long Limbed Elvis (John Morris). This human being is equally as disturbing as James when it comes to his female exploits. Not only does he chop his Brothers Babysitter, he also prospects the Girl Next Door, and has a fetish for sloppy 2's. That said, he is a great dancer, and has a tally of 76!

Last weekend, James attended a 21st Birthday Party near Manly, North Sydney. This house was exceptional, something even I wouldn't be able to afford. If you don't know James very well, you will not know that he has a fetish/love for Asians.

An account by King Parge: "On this fine Saturday evening James was being his usual quiet self, avoiding any social contact with the female forms and keeping his hands securely in his tight jean pockets... James then discovered the free bar available at the mansion where he decided to drown some of his current sorrows and make the most of being a 25 year old at a 21st birthday party... (pervert). He was working his way through a few beverages when he noticed a lovely young Asian girl floating around the crowd. He got fucking nervous, saw off 4 shots, then lunged his way over to her. Friendly James started a conversation about how neither of them knew anyone at the party and then got some drinks together. James was left to prospect this Asian female on his own whilst we went inside the amazing house to get some more drinks. Next thing we know... Marky Mark is in his boxers in the pool asking the Asian girl to watch how good his butterfly stroke was, and started thrashing around the pool splashing all of the party goers as they looked on in disbelief. He looked like a retarded albino mermaid and definitely didn't impress his prospect.

Unfortunately for the party goers, this sort of behavior carried on for around 2 hours... On the dancefloor James continued to Lunge, Skip and Sidestep at this girl. We decided the next best move was to leave the party and not tell James so he was forced to close the deal. After an hour at home we all believed it had been accomplished until there was a loud bang on the front door around 3am... Looking through the peeking hole to see James on his own in the corridor."

Yet another dry evening for James.

Weird Mark in action with the Asian chick at the 21st Birthday Party

It's been a while... I know!

I must apologise.

That's Rae - She works with me...

My blogging fingers have been rather inactive over the past couple of months. I'll put the blame onto a couple of promotions and an increased workload.

That said, I have still been having a lot of fun. My apartment is now fully furnished, and with several parties down, the carpets are wearing thin... One thing the apartment isn't furnished with is a bloody air conditioning unit, and at the moment - nothing to repel the bloody mosquitoes! Since drinking a lot of pineapple juice, I have become more of a target by these bloody sucking insects. Bastards!

A lot has happened over the past couple of months. I went back to the UK to visit the Grandparents for 4 days, I've been up to the Gold Coast for my Chief Marketing Officer Summit which was extremely successful, had a BBQ on my balcony the last 6 Sundays, beached as much as possible whilst developing a tidy tan, had 2 VIP guests visit me in Sydney (mum and dad) and also bought 20 tickets to see Bon Iver at the Opera House. Life is fucking exciting....

It actually seems as if a lot of people from the UK are moving to the sunny side of the world, here in Australia. Countless amounts of people are getting in touch asking me how it is in Sydney, what the money is like, is it hot in the summer, are there sharks in the sea, are the girls hot, is it easy to get a job, can you help me get a job, can I stay on your floor for a few days etc etc etc... The answer to all of those questions has been yes - however the latter is going to change to be a NO as my apartment isn't a bloody hostel!

To be honest, my form on this blog has been shit. Updates haven't been happening as much as I'd have wanted. I will endeavour to pull my finger out my asshole and keep this up to date. There is plenty to be writing about - not gonna lie! In the meantime, I am planning my trip to LA, San Diego and London. Any tips on what to do in San Diego would be kindly appreciated. IM GOING TO BE ON TOUR!

Big up Ya Nan!

wouldn't mind an elegant lounge like this....

Archie, Orry & Episode 3...

Following on from my previous post "Maids In Chelsea", I have a little update to give on these gents.


Not only have they released a third episode of the highly taked about 'Maids In Chelsea', but Archie Brooksbank and his company 'Bladesman Productions'' have just finished the filming of the latest Royal Wedding - Princess Zara and Mike Tindall. I have a feeling this one would be produced in a more mature fashion... "It could make interesting viewing, for Brooksbank’s company, Bladesman Productions, which recently filmed an amusing spoof of the reality programme Made In Chelsea, wittily entitled Maids In Chelsea. Archie, 25, a friend of Lady Natasha Rufus Isaacs and a member of the hoity-toity Gloucestershire set informed us ‘It’s for private consumption, and guests have not been told, so look out!'"  A great achievement I must say and something I doubt will ever be seen by the public!


Orry on the other hand has been gaining a following around London for his stand-up gigs. Recently a short film premiere was held in a private venue in SW7, in which Orry played a major part. Now his ventures will continue in Los Angeles, most notably 'The Comedy Store' in which a performance was delivered of incredible quality. Expect big things to come...

Episode numero 3 focuses on Olly from the reality TV show. As you will see Orry and Archie get quite intimate... Interesting viewing, which deffo made me giggle... Share the video with your friends and you will see more episodes come out of the woodwork - thats for sure!

Enjoy...







Reference: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2019952/Duke-Gloucester-puts-wind-locals.html

A Change of Name...

I'll raise a glass...

As you may have noticed a change of name was made to my blog... I thought it was important to change the name, seeing as I am no longer touring Australia. Voyeuristic Viewings. No idea where that came from, I just thought - I look at what people do, and I write about it. Then people hear what I do, then read about it... Or something along those lines... I think?!?

BREAKING NEWS: I was granted my 457 Visa last week. Which in simple terms means I get to live, work and play in Australia until July 2015 - potentially 4 more years. There are many positives to go with this news, and a few negatives. The first positive that made me want to see off that cocktail on your right; is that I can keep my job, get promoted and earn a shit load of money in the process. The first negative that dampened my mood and bought a teeny tear to my eye; was that I am going to miss my friends back in England - and of course my family. Soppy C*nt. But yeah - you know who you are - don't you!

The Plane taking me to the GC...

On another note. Sydney has, over the last few days, been absolutely PISSING it down. I thought for one moment my balcony had turned to a swimming pool - but no - it was a puddle! Not one moment of sunshine has been present this week. Saying that - the sun shines from my arse doesn't it! Jokes... Ooh that's awkward... I genuinely didn't think it was possible for a destination outside of a Tropical Zone in Australia to rain as hard as it has done over the last few days. My shoes have are soaked through, socks saturated and feet freezing. That is why on Sunday, I fly to the Gold Coast for a few days for a bit of sun, sea, sand and if I have to be honest - Work. At least I get a short break away from Sydney which will be alright!


You know what? It's funny how quite a lot of people are actually contemplating making the move over to Australia for a better, wealthier and warmer life. In hindsight, it was a sudden move, however the proof is in the pudding. Anyone who is 'umming' and 'arring' about it - just do it. It you succeed; it could be the best move you ever made, or on the other hand if you fail; it could just be a bloody good holiday! Any questions on how to do it, how much you cash you'll need, or how to go about getting a job - just give me a tinkle. YOU CAN DO IT!

'Maids In Chelsea'

A couple of friends from London have recently been sharing a new series of short sketches with the world.

'Maids In Chelsea' is a spoof of the hit - but shit - English TV show 'Made In Chelsea'; which showcases the lives of champagne swilling, polo playing and ridiculously dressed twenty-somethings living in London's most sought after postcodes. 'Maids In Chelsea' has already attracted over 6000 views in 5 days and this looks as if it will continue to gather a great following of young and old. I know the old like it as my Mother's a fan. Hehe.

'Tarquin

To be honest - I've got no idea how or why this idea was created, nor do I know why it has taken these two so long to collaborate. What I know is that 'Maids In Chelsea' will develop into a short sketch show should their be copious amounts of interest (which im sure there will), introducing new characters as time progresses and story lines develop.

'Jamie'

'Tarquin' is played by Oxford Brookes graduate Archie Brooksbank. Archie is Producer/Director who shoots and edits most of his shows and work. Not only this, Archie also owns a production company called 'Bladesman Productions'. As you can see he has a bit of acting ability too - casually sporting the Handlebar Chin Puff... The full package do I hear you say?

'Jamie' is played by 25 year old comic Orry Gibbens. Orry is a stand up comedian with several acting roles under his belt across the United Kingdom. As well as being comfortable in front of a heckling audience, Orry also produces. Anyone wanting to catch him in stand up - keep your eye open around Covent Garden this weekend!

Finally, a little birdy from the 'Maids In Chelsea' camp has informed me that another Sketch Show is in writing at the moment. Touching on controversial subject matters that no one has dared to touch on so far in the entertainment industry, this is sure to excite the fans of these two fine gentlemen.

I hope episodes of 'Maids In Chelsea' will become longer and that each episode will showcase the bundle of talent that is possessed by both. In the meantime, Episodes 1 & 2 can be viewed below. Please enjoy a giggle...

MAIDS IN CHELSEA - Episode 1 from Bladesman Productions on Vimeo.

MAIDS IN CHELSEA EPISODE 2 from Bladesman Productions on Vimeo.

A Musical Encounter - Emma Louise.

Emma Louise - Jungle

Heard this on a Sunny Saturday morning. It was on the TV, kind of thought it was Ellie Goulding for a minute, but then I noticed the voice wasn't wishy washy and actually something I could listen to over and over. Awesome tune this. This is Emma Louise's first major single - it is quite poignant and slightly tribal at the same time.. No doubt it will soon be mixed into a naughty Dub Step Number... Will try and see her gigging around Sydney soon... Emma Louise is one of this You-tuber turned recording artists too!

Facially she is pretty simple but rather attractive. I suppose a good singing voice makes anybody reasonably attractive in my eyes... There are however a couple of exceptions; Michelle McManus being one.

Muscles                                                                                     Emma Louise

In fact, I have just found a little remix of this tune by a DJ called Muscles (see above). This chap has previously remixed the likes of Kylie Minogue and constructed a tune called Princess Beatrice Royal Hat. Anyway - here is his tune below. I shall leave you with it...

P.S. (I like to party.... hehe, currently watching Hot Rod)

  Emma-Louise - Jungle (Muscles Bootleg Club Remix) (2011) by musclesmusic

Freecycle..

Its a funny thing is this old badger. 

Who would have thought that people would want someone's used bedside table. Who would have thought a picture frame with a photo of a roaring lion would come in handy. Who would have thought a near to new sofa bed would be given away. Who would have thought a cash rich 23 year old man would want a box of kiddies fridge magnets.

All of what I have just mentioned is relevant to me and to the users of FreeCycle. This furniture recycling initiative is taking the world by storm. 

Moving into a new apartment and have no furniture? Fear not fair soldiers, FreeCycle is here. You can join up to your local towns group, and you will receive daily updates on recent items that are up for collection. Let me give you an example of the most recent offering I have had...

"Fiona Eastern Suburbs @ 1247: 3 deck chairs, green fabric, good quality, would compliment a balcony, garden and anyone not too heavy. Pick up in Randwick after 11am on Saturday."

Simples... If I want 3 deck chairs for a body - slim like mine - all I have to do is reply to the email "Shotgun, I'll pick them up at 1145am." It really does work on a first come first serve basis - hence why the shotgun malarkey is necessary.

Please see below a photo of my living room. There are several items that have been acquired by us lot in the Penthouse. Most notably the sofa bed. You will also see a radiator, a small CD rack, a 1960's desk with flowery handles, a computer chair, a garden chair and a rug. It really has contributed to a wonderful living area... Tehehe. Other items not in the photo include a fridge, chest of drawers and a picture of Bondi Beach.

Everyone's a winner!

My Living Room

Cheese...

Oh, Hi There... This is Georgia!

So this evening has been interesting.

I am in the zone right now after several beers and i have had a proposal to write a blog post. People are actually twittering about me this second as to how exited they are to read this new addition to the best blog in the world.

For some reason Cheese was chosen to be the subject. Quite strange really. Cheese it is yellow it is gold, its smelling quite disgusting that it smells of mould. Actually,Cheese is not a good topic of conversation unless it is a whole oven baked Camembert with carrot sticks and crusty bread with onion chutney. Mmmm. I will talk about the chaps around me. Max and Georgia are talking about a combination tub of ice cream - half baked, cookie dough, banana, toffee, vanilla.... that sounds ridiculous, not going to lie. Georgia is going mad. Max is kind of sad, my name is sam I like to eat ham, but im a lad lad lad. Gigidy.

Today has also been a day of new song finds. Hungry Kids of Hungary as you will see below - portray themselves as Hungarians, however they are not. This is one of their best tunes - one of my faves... There is also a link for a remix of a Two Door Cinema tune....enjoy!!!



Hungry Kids of Hungary - 'Scattered Diamonds' [official video] from Mucho-Bravado on Vimeo.

Settled but still moaning...

So the last few weeks I have not been doing anything productive with my shlad on tour blog...

I'd like to share something actually. The last couple of days I have been a bit under the weather. My eyes have been feeling pretty heavy. My wisdom teeth are giving my mouth something else to cope with - my mouth already has to put up with a fair amount of shit chat. Oh, yeah... I also have a trapped nerve in the neck. Really shouldn't complain, but I'm a soft bastard, I find hard not to have a moan every now and then!

The Balcony... :D

Id like to inform the general public that I have now moved into somewhere I can actually call home. This is the 9th place I will now have called home in Australia. My name is on the lease so I won't be going anywhere too soon that's for sure. It is a 4 bedroom penthouse in Kensington, Sydney (see map).. It is decked out with a ridiculous sized living room/lounge and balcony all joined together. I have complimented this living space with a 51" Samsung 3D TV. Impulse buy it was, worth it though. If anyone is in Aus, you have to come and check this place out. I'm living with an Aussie guy called Max (yes he is cute...) and two Ladies called Leanne and Kelly. They are both single and no I won't be going there - that would just be awkward. Tehehe. We all live next door to 'The Rusty' which is a war memorial drinking hole. Interesting bunch that hang out there. What i have been doing in my free time is learning to play the guitar. I can now play several songs, but I haven't yet mastered the art of singing and playing at the same time. Ill persist and you might see me on some talent show. LOL. 

On the work front I have been promoted again and have now been set a few targets so i can get ANOTHER promotion. Finally someone has given me some faith. Not sure why cos i'm a useless bloke at times.  I now have around half a dozen clients. Its a new experience for me, learning every day at work, so I'm hoping to build some sort of groundwork to a successful career. It's all looking great so far - my 457 Visa has been processed - which will enable me to stay and work in Aus for another 4 years. Do I hear you cracking open the Champagne? See that Champagne off... In fact, talking about Champagne, that's what I drink these days for fun.

For the last few weeks it has been pretty cold. 10 degrees or so, 15 at the most. It doesn't seem that cold on paper, but it is actually bloody freezing. Scarf and Coat job. If old Roj was over here his old age would mean pneumonia. Actually had a Skype with him the other day, and he persisted in trying to tell me some of his old classics.. Everyone's a winner.

At the moment, I cant even think about contemplating coming home to England for a short break. Just no time to do so. All I would like at the moment is a good cold pint of Stowford Press, a party at Dot's place and a tit wank from our Chloe Hickey (joke). Really miss that cider I do. Tonight I am off to play 5-a-side football for my team (top of league). Not sure if it is wise, my moaning will just be prolonged.

Finally, just want to congratulate Sarah Porter on turning the big 21 the other week - sorry I couldn't make it... and Charlie Sharples for making the 45 man England Rugby World Cup Squad this week.

Ta da.

Definition of Branding!

You’re at a party and you see a hot girl. You approach her and say “I’m good in bed”. That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a group of mates and you see a hot girl. One of your mates approaches her and says “That guy over there is really good in bed”. That’s Advertising.

You’re at a party and you see a hot girl. You ask for her phone number. The following day you call her and tell her “I’m good in bed”. That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and you see a hot girl. You recognize her, you approach her and refresh her memory by telling her “Do you remember how good I am in bed?” That’s Customer Relationship Management.

You’re at a party and you see a hot girl. You get up, fix your tie, pour her a drink, open the door for her, pick up her bag when it falls and tell her “I’m good in bed”. That’s PR.

You’re at a party and you see a hot girl. She approaches you and says “I hear you’re great in bed”. That’s BRANDING.

Sunny Day Today!

Justin Vernon aka Bon Iver

Today in Sydney is glorious. I walked to work – that’s how nice the weather is. It isn’t extremely warm though, kind of starting to get a bit of a chill on. Not ideal when I only packed shorts, t-shirts and 2 jumpers. Thanks to my boss Lee, I have adopted one of his jackets. In fact, warm clothes are being sent from my dearest mother in England… I have a feeling one of these jackets is my Tweed Blazer. Yes, I know, I’m going to be wearing Tweed in Australia – shows that I am cash rich and just completely above the rest.

Over the last couple of weeks I have started getting back into sport and building up the size of my terribly skinny thighs. Since my knee operations last year, my legs dwindled away to skin and bone, my chassis deteriorated to that of a peasant who works in KFC, and my fitness was just shit. I am a new and fully paid member of a 5-a-side footy team that plays twice a week next to Hyde Park. I play in goal, which probably isn’t wise as I have a broken hand, but oh well; it’s all shits n giggles! Played 8 games so far and only lost 1…

I have been searching for a house too over the last couple of weeks. As I am now mature, and wealthy, I can afford to lease my own place. Things started on a low, was rejected on several applications due to not having any rental history. I then combined forces with a few friends and I am happy to say we have just been accepted on a 4 bedroom penthouse 5 minutes from the city. BOOM. Lad on tour is now a happy lad on tour with a fookin penthouse! Move in date – 4^th June!

In the meantime, work is a goodun. Recently got the promotion I have been working hard towards. I bought myself a promotion cake and ate it all without sharing. I then had a few beers. Making sales, making money, making fitness, making friends, will be making a flat pack bed when I move into my new place, making food and making Lauren – my colleague – massage me daily.

Let me leave you with a song recommendation!

Bon Iver - Calgary… it is from his new album. Those of you who don’t know him – you have to get involved, he is incredible. He is touring the UK this year, so get tickets – I can assure you it will be one of the best gigs you have ever been to. If you don’t think so – I will reimburse you your ticket. This song I have posted is just outstanding. It is touching and just a beautiful piece, with the slither of stripped back synths in place of the previous album’s acoustic stylings. The song below is one off his first album. Truly amazing.

I'm having a beer today. I like to party.

  Bon Iver - The Wolves (Act I and II)

Jamie N Commons

With a desert-smoked vocal that hints at Johnny Cash, Tom Waits, John Smith, Nick Cave, Leonard Cohen and Gomez, Jamie N Commons, a former student of music at Goldsmiths, University of London may not be a name that is known to many yet, but if you’re a fan of any of the above named prepare yourself to be impressed. For Mr Commons sings like a man who has already seen far too many years. It’s gritty, gravelly and full of the blues, which gives his songs an unquestionable authenticity whatever he’s singing about.

Yet, Commons is a whipper-snapper in his early Twenties. Commons has the potential for his country / folk /rock sound to find acceptance with a more youthful crowd just as the likes of Mumford & Sons and Laura Marling have done so over the last year or so. In fact Laura Marling is a good reference point as we could quite easily imagine this cheeky chick covering his song The Preacher - a potent tale of religion, death and loss touched with hints of dark Americana. It streams below together with the tender piano torch song Wasted Time.

Jamie N Commons is undeniably talented and as long as he avoids the clichés of the genre and gets his music heard, could find his whisky-glugging-shards-of-glass-vocals popularity rising very quickly. This gent will go far!

  Wasted Time by Jamie N Commons   Wasted Time by Jamie N Commons

  The Preacher by Jamie N Commons

  15 Petals by Jamie N Commons
(thanks to breakingmorewaves for some of the words)

Enjoyable Episodes!

23rd Party

Today is Easter Sunday, the 24th of April. The last week... slash... two weeks has been a slight blur. I must say however, some of the most enjoyable moments of my time here in Australia. Not only have I been doing well at work and enjoying it thoroughly, I have been consuming some fine ales, sourcing the tenderest of steaks and spending time with friends and making the most of each minute.

Yes, I know... It is a great life. In my right hand I have a
beer, and in my left hand my cock... only joking.

Alex - he who likes to Party.

Recently a friend of mine has arrived to the land of spider, snakes, expensive beer and sluts. His name is Alex Burnet Ward and this man LIKES TO PARTY. What i would like to add, this fellow public school gentleman hasn't been sober since arriving on the turf and his consumption of Cutlers Choice Tobacco should be rewarded.


So. To let you fellow fans of this remarkable blog know, I am currently enjoying a Tooheys Extra Dry whilst listening to a new favourite - Jamie Woon.

Luca, Gav and Moi @ Team Party

My birthday occurred on Thursday last week. I turned 23 years old. My mother turned 45 (lol jokes).

Good old Jane had a cracker of a birthday. So did I. I had a beer, i'm not going to lie. Jessica Tily hosted a glorious shin dig at her place and it was made complete by my attendance. Of course it was. (Jess got two hickeys from a chap called Congo in the back of a Toyota 4x4. Cute.)

Wesley the Rottweiler 

Its brilliant, in Australia over easter we have 3 public holidays. Friday, Monday and Tuesday. Thats cause for concern isn't it. What made it better, my birthday was on the Thursday before, so i took this off work and reaped a LONNNGGG weekend.

Sarah Beins getting moustached!

I must say, on Thursday (the day of my birth), I did miss my friends and family back home. It isn't easy to be 10,000 miles away. Luckily though i have made some good friends over here and that took my mind off it slightly!

Sam - stop being a soppy bastard. 

I am back to work on Wednesday where I am going to drop my pants in the office so I can get a couple of quick deals. If successful, I shall be flying to the UK soon for an all expenses paid trip courtesy of Marcus Evans. Fingers Crossed I do well!

Now is the time for me to depart and eat treacle tart. On a final note, Mike Hickey - good luck with the new cricket season old chap, do yourself proud and hit em in the stingers. See off a beer and get chopping! LAD LAD LAD! x

P.s.Here is a line for all of you enthusiastic chaps who want to pick up in a bar... "Are you a parking ticket? [what?] You got FINE written all over your face."

Aussie Tunes...

Pez & 360

So... i have come across some pretty cool bands and DJ's since being over here. Its pretty cool that the aussie rap sounds aussie... Kind of like how english rap sounds english to be honest. That was an exciting sentence. Cute.

Anyway, back to business... Click on the titles of the song, I have linked them to the videos i think are worth a listen. Please enjoy!

p.s. im not a great music critic, so please excuse the shitness of this lol cute lol!


Pez feat. 360 - The Festival Song (see top right)
This song is a classic in Aussie Eyes. It was released back in 2009 by Pez who is an Aussie Rapper. I would call this a typical Road Trip Tune... This is deffo one for the English Summer. 9/10.

Little Red

Little Red - Rock It
Little Red is a band from Melbourne who have an intriguing mix of rock and roll, Rnb, and blues encorporating my favourite instrument - the HARMONICA! this is a great tune, pretty chilled out. i like. 8/10.

Miami Horror

Mashups by 'The Hood Internet'
Came across this music blog and mashups whilst scanning around at work. Some awsome mixes in here. No idea how to download them though. In all, a good mix! 8/10.


Miami Horror - Holidays
Definitely one for Subtone on a Saturday night... This would remix into something special. Again, this i can imagine smashing out of my car speakers on the way to watch Mike play cricket for Bredon on a sunny day. Its nice and funky with a happy, uplifinting, dancing beat. 8.5/10.

The Bums Of Sydney...

Sydney is a wealthy city - from what I have experienced. However I have noticed and witnessed a rather large amount of homeless in and around Sydney. Some are nice, some are not. Some are well dressed, some are not. Some smile, some do not smile. Some sit there with a cup and a sign asking for money, some approach you begging for spare change. Some give you a story as to why they are homeless and why they need money and some don't. 

There are some that are full of character, who sing, talk gibberish, wear fancy dress, have a beer for breakfast and a bottle of wine for lunch.

I give spare change when I have any to a homeless man on the corner of Bathurst and Pitt Street in Sydney. Most mornings at 8am he is kneeling on a financial newspaper on the pavement, with black feet, head on the floor - in a praying position. He simply has a white plastic cup in front of him which people - if generous enough can put some silver change in.

I have managed to capture a couple of these bums on camera. One who looks like my old man Roger (right) and another like Santa Claus (above). At the end of the day some choose to live their lives this way and some do not. I think these guys I caught on camera are content. They are regulars to Town Hall in Sydney, most of the time with a beer and drew in hand.  By the way a Drew is an Aborigine word for a cigarette.

Heineken - The Entrance

Here is a pretty sweet advert... 

It works - it makes me want a beer.

Some interesting facts...

So... I am looking over the city of Sydney, just saw a sunset, listening to Bon Iver and i'm getting rather emotional!

Recent achievements and facts that in my life mean a lot:

I bought 5 singlets at the weekend to showcase my guns.
I made my first sale for Marcus Evans - a cheeky $35,000.
I moved to a flat in Coogee Beach.
Myself and my flatmates were evicted after 2 weeks.
I visited the Gold Coast a few days ago.
I went for afterwork swims in the sea 5 days in a row the other week.
I spent $35 on chicken breasts on my last shop.
Kebabs in Australia are rolled into a wrap.
I was called a creative genius a few minutes ago.
The dick who evicted us was a Lebanese man.
Zara is opening its first store in Australia in a couple of weeks time.
I don't receive my commission for my first sale until December... oops!
Im starting to walk bare footed around the streets of Sydney.
Im now listening to Bon Iver.
Its my best friend Olive's 21st on Saturday :) Happy Birthday Ols!
Im still playing my Harmonica and yes, it annoys people here too.
Mike is doing himself proud in Cardiff.
My mum called Mike Cute. (she has informed me she had a beer when making this comment).
Old Roger my old man has come out retirement and is now working as a racing car test driver for Suzuki.
Since being in Australia i have lived in 6 places.
I start work on a regular basis at 815am.
I have taken up wearing glasses as Sam is going blind.
I earn money for a living. Yes, I am cash rich!
I am not happy with Liverpool beating Man United.
Renting in Sydney costs on average $1000 a month for a room.
I tend to get the bus to work with the unfortunate peasants.
I am still wearing my flip-flop earring... however i tend to call it an earring of a thong.
My mum has informed me that she is buying an IPAD 2... good girl.
I won an incentive at work the other week... prize is a lap-dance at mens galleries in Sydney.
I had a drink this evening after work with Filipino Ken. Nice bloke he is... lol - cute - there she is.
Alfie and Kieran went off in their camper van and made 2 Swedish friends... great blokes.
My tan is fading :(
Im running out of ideas... So im going to go and get a pizza!

Hope everyone is well. Im having fun, loving life. Anyone coming to Australia in the near future hit me up...

Love and Kisses.

Sam the man from Cheltenham!

A Working Man...

The Cool Hunter

A pretty cool blog I have come across whilst researching at work!

Check it out... some pretty interesting stuff on there.

www.thecoolhunter.com.au

Floors and Sofas

Its been a few days since I last had the chance to post on this monstrosity...

I'm happy to say I have been extremely busy and there are a couple of reasons due to my lack of blogging. One of the main reasons is due to me starting my new job at Marcus Evans as a Sales Executive in the Branding Summits department. Love it...

The second reason is due to me still being bloody homeless. Yes - I did move into an apartment at the beginning of last week, however the chap whose flat it was had a heart the size of a pea and I moved out. To cut a long story short - he was threatened by my great amount of wit and banter and wanted me out! Small time.

Since I departed the apartment and rooftop pool, I have been couch-surfing around a few friends places in and around Sydney. First place I planted myself was on Alice Cropper's spare sofa for a few nights (thanks Alice and friends...) I thoroughly enjoyed myself with you guys, very hospitable! However, walking up to the bus stop to work in 40degree heat was not an ideal start to my day. Imagine walking up a hill in a suit dripping with sweat at 8am. Id prefer to have HIV. Oh, too soon. On the job front, it is going swimmingly. Completed my first full week doing 8:30-5:30 shifts. In fact - I hit my first weekly target and was rewarded last Friday with a cheeky Japanese lunch with my Boss. CUTE.

My floor of choice to sleep on over the past week or so was Dustin the Dustbin Man. He is great bloke, we started at Marcus Evans together. We have been treating each other to homemade Cheese and Ham sandwiches for lunch each day this week. Fed up of sandwiches already... GIVE ME STEAK. (p.s. he lives near Balmoral Bay - ass seen in the photo... lovely spot!) On the steak front. I have enjoyed a couple of good steaks including a Porterhouse the size of my old mans joke book, all for $12. Great deal.

So yeah, finally... I am in the process of moving into a new flat. The new flat is down at old Coogee. Im going to be living with two girls from a place called Kiama which is 2 hours south of Sydney on the coast.  The handpicked me out of 167 applicants for a housemate. Bad idea... Please welcome Kate and Sarah into my life. Once i find out more about them i shall post something interesting.

Anyways, my days are nearly over when it comes to sleeping on a couch, thank god. Anyone in Sydney, give me a tinkle. My house is your house. Just if you want to stay, a crate of beer is neccessary.

Ta da.